danceswithgary: (Do Not Copy) (CLex - Mute)
[personal profile] danceswithgary
Written for 2014 CLexmas Exchange

Title: How to Survive the End of the World and Other Post-Christmas Worries
For: [personal profile] josephina_x
Type: Fic, ~1100 words
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: Late night television watching can be hazardous to your peace of mind.
Request: Fluff, mild hurt/comfort, and romance.

The apartment was dark when Clark walked through the concealed door in the bedroom and he carefully closed the panel behind him so as not to disturb a sleeping Lex. It turned out his precautions were unnecessary because Lex wasn't in bed, the sheets and blankets suspiciously undisturbed considering it was after 3 AM in a chilly morning. Clark frowned and went searching for his favorite insomniac.

The only light in the living room came from the screen-paused, large-screen televison and the laptop Lex was typing on, flipping through spreadsheets and charts. Completely oblivious to his surroundings, Lex nearly levitated off the sofa when Clark asked quietly, “A new project?”

Lex slammed the laptop's lid down and grabbed the remote to shut the television off, instantly arousing Clark's suspicions, supported by Lex's following attempt at diversion. “Oh, you're back? Anything interesting happen tonight?”

Rather than poking at the mystery right away, Clark decided he'd play along, at least until Lex relaxed and let down his guard. Heading for the kitchen, he called over his shoulder, “Well, since we're both still awake, I'm getting us something warm to drink and some cookies. You want anything else?”

Taking Lex's silence as agreement with his plan, Clark quickly heated some of their favorite cocoa and grabbed one of the many tins of cookies his mother had supplied for the holidays. Carrying his offerings back into the living room, he frowned at their dark Christmas tree. After depositing the mugs and tin on the coffee table in front of their sofa, he immediately plugged in the lights and smiled at the friendly twinkles highlighting the ornaments they'd collected over their years together.

Settling on the sofa next to Lex, Clark opened the tin and handed Lex a mug. “Here, this should help you sleep.” Grabbing two gingerbread men for himself, Clark leaned a little closer and murmured, “So, what's keeping you up this late?”

Lex sipped from his mug before answering with a shrug, “I was watching something and lost track of the time.” He leaned forward, taking a cookie from the tin.

Recalling the flash of end credits before Lex had shut down the television, Clark prompted, “Something on National Geographic?” Wondering what that had do with graphs and charts, Clark continued, “Which inspired a new project for LexCorp?”

“Sort of,” Lex replied, clearly uncomfortable with Clark's line of questioning. “I was putting together some...plans. For the future.” Lex's gingerbread man snapped in his fidgety fingers and he offered the head to Clark with a rueful smile. “The apocalypse.”

Crunching down on the bit of cookie, Clark's eyes widened as a glimmer of understanding began to surface. Grabbing the remote, he turned the television back on to see exactly what Lex had been watching. A menu came up showing the available episodes for a National Geographic series called, 'How to Survive the End of the World.' He turned to Lex and frowned, setting his mug down on the coffee table. “I thought you promised you wouldn't watch zombie movies without me after the nightmare you had from 'World War Z.' You stayed up all the rest of that night making lists of the things we'd need to survive.... Oh, so that's what you were doing.”

Lex's mug joined Clark's with an irritated thunk. “It's not a movie. It's experts from all over the world speculating on how the human race could become extinct,” Lex protested, trying to wrest the remote back from Clark's hand. “And I didn't watch the 'Zombie Earth' episode, just like I promised.”

Allowing Lex to wrestle him flat on the sofa, Clark enjoyed his warmth and weight, although he wisely retained possession of the remote. He laughed as Lex tried to tickle invulnerable ribs. “You know that doesn't work, and I doubt they're really experts. 'Hell on Earth' isn't terribly believable. Do they forecast the arrival of the anti-Christ? The Winchesters were called in for expert opinions?”

Subsiding against Clark's chest in defeat, Lex mumbled, “A black hole hits Earth and triggers all the volcanos.”

Cocking an eyebrow at the implausibility that should have left Lex scoffing, Clark chuckled. “A black hole, right. And 'Monster Storm?'”

Lex's head popped back up as he vehemently protested Clark's amusement. “Hey, the greenhouse effect is a very real problem.”

“Okay, I'll grant you that one, the hurricanes and typhoons do seem to be getting worse, but 'Frozen Earth' doesn't seem likely considering the shrinking polar ice caps.” Clark smoothed his hand down Lex's spine, smiling as Lex relaxed again.

“We all freeze because dark matter alters the Earth's orbit.” Lex muttered, his breath soft against Clark's collarbone. “That one is pretty far-fetched, and I didn't assign anyone to a research project for it.”

Clark sat back up, arranging Lex on his lap. “I was sort of joking about projects. You really put some together and assigned people?”

“Not only that, I sent a few memos to security because I think someone might have leaked info on my nanobot research.” Lex frowned. “The 'MicroMonsters' hit a little too close to home.”

Clark frowned, but decided debating the value of that research was not the way to settle them both down to sleep. He picked up his mug, using his heat vision to warm it up again before he sipped. “I'm pretty sure the human race is going to survive, Lex. You're smart enough to solve pretty much any problem that pops up, and the Justice League is here to help.” He hugged Lex and kissed his cheek. “So am I. I'll always save you.”

Lex shook his head with a frown, although Clark could see a smile threatening to break through. “I won't be positive until I watch 'Zombie Earth' to make sure my lists are complete.”

“Hey, zombies are easy.” Clark laughed at the shock on Lex's face at his blithe statement. “We just lock ourselves in up here and watch everyone in Metropolis munch on each other's faces,” Clark illustrated with his third gingerbread man, chomping off its head with ghoulish relish. “I'm pretty sure Mom baked us enough cookies to last for months.”

Stuffing the rest of the cookie into his mouth, Clark reached for another, blushing when he glanced sideways and caught's Lex's eyebrow arched in disbelief. “Um...weeks?” he mumbled, trying to swallow his mouthful.

“I'm thinking more like days.” Lex shook his head as he corrected Clark's cookie math, leaning in to share the snap of ginger and sweet frosting on Clark's lips.

Clark could only agree when Lex finally pulled back with a satisfied sigh - Mission 'Relax Lex' accomplished.

“Some very sweet days.”


Notes: There really is a National Geographic series called “How to Survive the End of the World.” It's kind of freaky.

Standard Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters herein. The characters of Lex Luthor and Clark Kent as well as any supporting characters are the property of their creators and DC Comics. Gough/Millar Inc and the WB Network TV own Smallville. Any deviations (or deviant behavior) from the originals, however, is mine.

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