Fic: Not Of This Earth (teaser)

Yes, I'm going back to work on In His Image just as soon as I post this. *grin*



First there was a silly post here and a surprise manip here all because kyanoswolf won a fic from me in a poll.

Prompt: I want a Kalex story! B-movie style. One of those where Don Fontaine would do the trailer starting with something like "In a world where Kryptonians rule, one human is determined to take back his home. Even if he has to sell his soul."

Result:

Title: Not Of This Earth
Author: danceswithgary (danceswithgary@yahoo.com)
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: Haven't Decided Yet
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Word Count: WIP
Archive: Fine, just let me know
Summary: Lex is putting his foot down and absolutely refusing to wear the g-string. That's final!


Setup:

Just think how Lex Luthor would act if found out he wasn't getting top billing in the movie that he and Clark are making during hiatus from the TV series that they play cops in. It's a cheesy movie to begin with, ripping off Terminator, Flash Gordon, Fifth Element, Star Wars - you name it. Let's just say things deteriorate quickly when they're shown the movie poster...

Snippet from somewhere near the beginning...

"That is such a fucking insult! I should just walk off the set." Lex ran his fingers through his black hair, cut short to make him look tougher. Suddenly, his fist clenched and he ended up with a handful of wig that he tossed onto the couch. He ran both hands across his smooth scalp, rubbing away any remaining adhesive and sighing in relief. "Man, I really don't miss having hair when I'm under those lights. You must be drenched." As he turned back around, he caught another glimpse of the offending poster. "I'm the fucking hero!"

Clark grimaced as he tried figure out how to soothe his savage co-star. "Actually, I have almost twice the screen time and more lines."

"That's because they're filming you fucking anything that moves in that ridiculous palace. I'm surprised that they haven't brought in cows." Lex glared at Clark and sneered. "You're getting top billing for showing your ass."

"Hey, they offered to let you..."

Lex flung his arms in the air in exasperation. "I'm an actor, not a porn star! And I get to kill you! Earth wins!" A puzzled look crossed his face. "Hey, how *do* I kill you?"

Clark shrugged. "Last script change I was supposed to be sucked under and drowned by some intelligent liquid that controls my ship, before that you flew one of the ships into my palace and totally destroyed the place – guess they thought killing all the slaves and you wasn't such a hot idea. They're talking about some foundry with molten metal and we fight and I end up in the metal and the last thing you see is my hand reaching up before it sinks under sizzling."

Cover by kyanoswolf

Being attacked on all sides - Abandon Ship! AOOOGAH!

I knew this was going to happen.

I put up a meme last night asking for distraction in-between plotting and typing copious quantities of In His Image. Did I get any? Nope. Well, hils after I went to bed...

Result?

I just finished typing out another page and a half of juicy plotty notes on theclexfactor's story The Kent Identity. In addition, serafinap's Clueless is running around yelling 'Dude!' in a voice like Michael Rosenbaum imitating Keanu Reeves. Be very frightened if Bill and Ted show up to hang out with Cher.

Of course, then the CLFF21 story, that I've now thought would be a good idea for the third freaking time, pops its head in and says "Can I bend your ear a tick?" I'm waiting for Lex to swing by waving a ray gun Flash Gordon would envy and yelling about the 'alien menace' so kyanoswolf's story has a chance to contribute to the madness.

I am seriously afraid to look at my prompts list now and if anyone makes suggestions I'll be over here in the corner going 'lalalala' with my hands over my ears and my eyes closed.