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danceswithgaryI was only vaguely familiar with The Bucket List when in ended up on our NetFlix queue. Gary added it since I tend to shy away from tearjerkers and, let's face it, I was aware that the main characters were dying. I had, however, heard of Phil Keoghan's book and resulting TV show, No Opportunity Wasted after watching The Amazing Race for years. Knowing what Phil had done with the concept just made me even more annoyed when I watched Justin Zackham pat himself on the back for coming up with the idea for the movie.
I watched the two main characters fly around the world in their final hurrah and felt an underlying dissatisfaction, but was unable to articulate why last night. As often happens, it took a night of dreaming and thinking to come up the reasons why I was unhappy with the movie.
In between, Gary and I talked a little (very little since I can only whisper for a very short time), and I admitted that I really didn't have a 'list' because I considered myself fortunate enough to have done most of what I'd wanted to do in my life. Gary, being the sweetheart that he is, claimed the only item on his list is to celebrate his fiftieth wedding anniversary like his grandparents did, and damn it now I'm dripping the tears I managed to hold back last night because I want to promise him those seventeen years and I can't. Doesn't mean I won't try, though, because I will.
And that right there is an example of what is probably my biggest problem with the movie. It was all about the two men and what they considered to be important enough to pursue in their remaining days. The rich bastard followed his dick and indulged in his usual hedonistic ways, dragging an all-too-compliant 'ordinary' man along with him because the 'ordinary' man had actually thought about what he regretted not doing in his life because he'd ended up needing to support his family. Although there was a nod at the end to the moral of family being important, too much of the movie was 'poor me, now I'm going to go do what I want and fuck you wife and kids because I didn't get to have fun because of you and my new best buddy is going to give that to me while you stay home and worry.' The audience gets to vicariously enjoy jumping out of planes and traveling the world and eating fancy food, in between the small glimpses of the reality of dying of cancer.
The thing is, as trite as it may sound, 'ordinary man' lost out because he forgot how to count his blessings until it was too late.
I guess that if he'd stayed home to reconnect with his wife and family, it wouldn't have ended up being a popular movie.
And that would be one reason why I don't have a list.
You see, I've done a lot in my life and anticipate enjoying what I can still do.
I won scholastic and art awards in grade school and high school and had a full-ride to pre-med which I abandoned, although it was nice to know I had it.
I married the only man I ever dated. (The reason for not moving across the state for school. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving him. Instead I stayed local and then quit because I was twitterpated.)
My husband and I raised a kind, intelligent, and beautiful daughter. (Not the reason for the marriage, she arrived seven years later.) We have parents who are still living, many brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews and we don't visit them nearly often enough, but we do visit them or they visit us.
My husband and I bought a small house in the outer suburbs and we paid off the mortgage and are still living in it.
I returned to school at age thirty and obtained a BS in Computer Science in three whirlwind years, making the Dean's List every semester and graduating magna cum laude.
I worked in my new career for nineteen years before I became disabled and I traveled across the US and overseas to London while developing and testing software, troubleshooting installations, writing tech manuals and training sys admins and DBAs, and organizing customer support centers. I was a tech goddess and I had groupies at user conventions and managers coveted me and would fight over who won custody of me for projects. *buffs nails*
My husband, daughter and I have vacationed in Disney World (Florida), Paris, London, and Prague. In addition, we've driven across the western portion of the US including Colorado, Utah, Arizona, Nevada and California - high points were the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas and the California coastline. We also managed to send the daughter on a month-long tour of Wales, Italy and Greece as well as a semester-long cruise around the world. She caught the travel bug from us.
My husband and I took a cruise to the Bahamas for our twenty-fifth anniversary and danced every night. We also spent a week in Tucson, Arizona exploring the desert and the mountains and then traveling through Nevada and California again. We've driven through fifteen states and Canada on motorcycle tours (Gary's done almost all of the states by himself). We've visited museums and conservatories and zoos and aquariums. We've rented cabins in the mountains and a lighthouse by the lake. I also managed to buy him the car of his dreams as well as his motorcycles.
I taught myself how to knit, crochet, embroider, to design and make my own clothes, bake bread and I've invented new recipes. I've planted beautiful gardens, scraped and painted walls, hammered nails, cut lumber, laid shingles and tile, installed electrical outlets and handled emergency plumbing repairs.
I took ballroom dance lessons with my husband for eleven years and we made it through associate gold level. That means we learned and tested out successfully in 300 individual dance steps plus variations in six core dances (waltz, tango, foxtrot, cha-cha, rumba, swing) plus 10-20 steps each in eight more (Argentine tango, samba, bolero, Viennese waltz, mambo, salsa, hustle, quickstep). We competed at a local, national, and international level as an amateur couple and brought home gold and silver medals. I also compiled music and DJ'ed at demonstrations in schools, malls, and senior centers with the local chapter of the American Ballroom Dance Association.
I write fanfiction, work in Photoshop to create fanart, have recorded fanfiction and written DVD commentaries. I've met hundreds of people online and learned so much from them.
I know that there's more, but I'm running out of steam. :-D
When I weigh all that I've done against a slowly progressing disease that took years to diagnose and is incurable - happiness and contentment with how I've lived my life still comes out ahead and I think it always will.
Even if it would make a boring movie.
I watched the two main characters fly around the world in their final hurrah and felt an underlying dissatisfaction, but was unable to articulate why last night. As often happens, it took a night of dreaming and thinking to come up the reasons why I was unhappy with the movie.
In between, Gary and I talked a little (very little since I can only whisper for a very short time), and I admitted that I really didn't have a 'list' because I considered myself fortunate enough to have done most of what I'd wanted to do in my life. Gary, being the sweetheart that he is, claimed the only item on his list is to celebrate his fiftieth wedding anniversary like his grandparents did, and damn it now I'm dripping the tears I managed to hold back last night because I want to promise him those seventeen years and I can't. Doesn't mean I won't try, though, because I will.
And that right there is an example of what is probably my biggest problem with the movie. It was all about the two men and what they considered to be important enough to pursue in their remaining days. The rich bastard followed his dick and indulged in his usual hedonistic ways, dragging an all-too-compliant 'ordinary' man along with him because the 'ordinary' man had actually thought about what he regretted not doing in his life because he'd ended up needing to support his family. Although there was a nod at the end to the moral of family being important, too much of the movie was 'poor me, now I'm going to go do what I want and fuck you wife and kids because I didn't get to have fun because of you and my new best buddy is going to give that to me while you stay home and worry.' The audience gets to vicariously enjoy jumping out of planes and traveling the world and eating fancy food, in between the small glimpses of the reality of dying of cancer.
The thing is, as trite as it may sound, 'ordinary man' lost out because he forgot how to count his blessings until it was too late.
I guess that if he'd stayed home to reconnect with his wife and family, it wouldn't have ended up being a popular movie.
And that would be one reason why I don't have a list.
You see, I've done a lot in my life and anticipate enjoying what I can still do.
I won scholastic and art awards in grade school and high school and had a full-ride to pre-med which I abandoned, although it was nice to know I had it.
I married the only man I ever dated. (The reason for not moving across the state for school. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving him. Instead I stayed local and then quit because I was twitterpated.)
My husband and I raised a kind, intelligent, and beautiful daughter. (Not the reason for the marriage, she arrived seven years later.) We have parents who are still living, many brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews and we don't visit them nearly often enough, but we do visit them or they visit us.
My husband and I bought a small house in the outer suburbs and we paid off the mortgage and are still living in it.
I returned to school at age thirty and obtained a BS in Computer Science in three whirlwind years, making the Dean's List every semester and graduating magna cum laude.
I worked in my new career for nineteen years before I became disabled and I traveled across the US and overseas to London while developing and testing software, troubleshooting installations, writing tech manuals and training sys admins and DBAs, and organizing customer support centers. I was a tech goddess and I had groupies at user conventions and managers coveted me and would fight over who won custody of me for projects. *buffs nails*
My husband, daughter and I have vacationed in Disney World (Florida), Paris, London, and Prague. In addition, we've driven across the western portion of the US including Colorado, Utah, Arizona, Nevada and California - high points were the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas and the California coastline. We also managed to send the daughter on a month-long tour of Wales, Italy and Greece as well as a semester-long cruise around the world. She caught the travel bug from us.
My husband and I took a cruise to the Bahamas for our twenty-fifth anniversary and danced every night. We also spent a week in Tucson, Arizona exploring the desert and the mountains and then traveling through Nevada and California again. We've driven through fifteen states and Canada on motorcycle tours (Gary's done almost all of the states by himself). We've visited museums and conservatories and zoos and aquariums. We've rented cabins in the mountains and a lighthouse by the lake. I also managed to buy him the car of his dreams as well as his motorcycles.
I taught myself how to knit, crochet, embroider, to design and make my own clothes, bake bread and I've invented new recipes. I've planted beautiful gardens, scraped and painted walls, hammered nails, cut lumber, laid shingles and tile, installed electrical outlets and handled emergency plumbing repairs.
I took ballroom dance lessons with my husband for eleven years and we made it through associate gold level. That means we learned and tested out successfully in 300 individual dance steps plus variations in six core dances (waltz, tango, foxtrot, cha-cha, rumba, swing) plus 10-20 steps each in eight more (Argentine tango, samba, bolero, Viennese waltz, mambo, salsa, hustle, quickstep). We competed at a local, national, and international level as an amateur couple and brought home gold and silver medals. I also compiled music and DJ'ed at demonstrations in schools, malls, and senior centers with the local chapter of the American Ballroom Dance Association.
I write fanfiction, work in Photoshop to create fanart, have recorded fanfiction and written DVD commentaries. I've met hundreds of people online and learned so much from them.
I know that there's more, but I'm running out of steam. :-D
When I weigh all that I've done against a slowly progressing disease that took years to diagnose and is incurable - happiness and contentment with how I've lived my life still comes out ahead and I think it always will.
Even if it would make a boring movie.
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-24 03:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 12:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-24 04:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 12:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-24 06:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 01:47 pm (UTC)When I watched that movie, I also found it hollow but didn't think much on it. Thanks for your review, and for pointing out that life is to be lived!! You rock!!
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Date: 2009-05-25 03:55 pm (UTC)*hugs you hard*
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Date: 2009-06-03 08:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-03 09:13 pm (UTC)