And that's why I keep dancing
Nov. 29th, 2006 08:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
danceswithgaryI had the best dance lesson I've had in months last night. We brought the entire studio (3 other private lessons and a group lesson) to a dead stop while everyone watched us practicing the bolero.
God, I've missed that incredible feeling when it all comes together and you just DANCE. Two people feeling each other's movement, responding and supporting, the music often forgotten except as a base for the timing as your connection just flows. My husband was aware of our audience - he has to 'know' where we are in relation to the other couples on the floor and make sure we have room to execute the longer, more intricate patterns. I was so immersed I had no idea until our teacher came up and congratulated us on the return of our showmanship and his grin was so wide because the whispers from the rest of the crowd were a tribute to his work all these years.
My husband and I took our first ballroom dance lesson in November 1995. He set up the lessons as a surprise for me, I'd always wanted to learn to dance. It was also to get me out of the house and moving before I sank into my yearly winter depression where I complained about being left alone while he skiied every chance he got.
Two trial lessons later, we were hooked. Many thousands of dollars later, I look back and consider it worth every penny. We argue with each other on the floor, get frustrated with our partner's inability to just 'get' the new move, but ultimately we come together and it works. To me, it's a microversion of our marriage, compressed into a 45-minute lesson every week.
When we started, we saw a couple on the floor practicing. They moved so beautifully together and we said, "Someday, we want to be them." Two years later after 3-4 lessons a week, we *were* that couple. We've won gold medals in amateur competitions, top couple honors, tested out at gold-level (levels are social, bronze, silver, gold, gold-bar and they determine competition grouping), but the best feeling is when you've finished a lesson and a new couple comes up and tells us how wonderful we looked moving together, even when we just spent the majority of the lesson on a single pattern and bickering.
In 1997, I was finally diagnosed with UCTD by my rheumatologist. It hit me hard and depression set in, piling the pounds back on me. The light in that period came from my family and dancing. I never stopped, although competitions became fewer and farther apart. We performed demos in malls at holiday times, entertained in senior centers. Even with 60 extra pounds that my husband had to maneuver around the floor, I received compliments from little old ladies saying "I've never seen someone your size move so gracefully." :-/ Oh well, I just considered myself an advocate for dancing for all sizes and ages.
The weight came back off with a new antidepressant and stayed off for a while before it crept back on and still I kept dancing until last year when it became apparent I no longer had the stamina to compete or even prep for competition. We went out with a last hurrah, top couple honors again. Now it is just a weekly lesson to keep the muscle memory and refresh patterns.
In February, I took another step down and have been struggling with recurrent infections, mostly because I take immune system depressants to retard the joint damage by rheumatoid arthritis. I kept dancing, but ear infections and rapid weight loss (55 pounds since then) plays havoc with your balance and center of gravity. In July, I added a 'Fever of Unknown Origin' to the mix, leaving the doctors baffled. I keep dancing, but lately it's been every other week as I fight off another acute infection.
So I felt like crap yesterday with a nice fresh UTI and took my antibiotics and headed for the studio. And I danced. Really danced. And I'm in love all over again.
God, I've missed that incredible feeling when it all comes together and you just DANCE. Two people feeling each other's movement, responding and supporting, the music often forgotten except as a base for the timing as your connection just flows. My husband was aware of our audience - he has to 'know' where we are in relation to the other couples on the floor and make sure we have room to execute the longer, more intricate patterns. I was so immersed I had no idea until our teacher came up and congratulated us on the return of our showmanship and his grin was so wide because the whispers from the rest of the crowd were a tribute to his work all these years.
My husband and I took our first ballroom dance lesson in November 1995. He set up the lessons as a surprise for me, I'd always wanted to learn to dance. It was also to get me out of the house and moving before I sank into my yearly winter depression where I complained about being left alone while he skiied every chance he got.
Two trial lessons later, we were hooked. Many thousands of dollars later, I look back and consider it worth every penny. We argue with each other on the floor, get frustrated with our partner's inability to just 'get' the new move, but ultimately we come together and it works. To me, it's a microversion of our marriage, compressed into a 45-minute lesson every week.
When we started, we saw a couple on the floor practicing. They moved so beautifully together and we said, "Someday, we want to be them." Two years later after 3-4 lessons a week, we *were* that couple. We've won gold medals in amateur competitions, top couple honors, tested out at gold-level (levels are social, bronze, silver, gold, gold-bar and they determine competition grouping), but the best feeling is when you've finished a lesson and a new couple comes up and tells us how wonderful we looked moving together, even when we just spent the majority of the lesson on a single pattern and bickering.
In 1997, I was finally diagnosed with UCTD by my rheumatologist. It hit me hard and depression set in, piling the pounds back on me. The light in that period came from my family and dancing. I never stopped, although competitions became fewer and farther apart. We performed demos in malls at holiday times, entertained in senior centers. Even with 60 extra pounds that my husband had to maneuver around the floor, I received compliments from little old ladies saying "I've never seen someone your size move so gracefully." :-/ Oh well, I just considered myself an advocate for dancing for all sizes and ages.
The weight came back off with a new antidepressant and stayed off for a while before it crept back on and still I kept dancing until last year when it became apparent I no longer had the stamina to compete or even prep for competition. We went out with a last hurrah, top couple honors again. Now it is just a weekly lesson to keep the muscle memory and refresh patterns.
In February, I took another step down and have been struggling with recurrent infections, mostly because I take immune system depressants to retard the joint damage by rheumatoid arthritis. I kept dancing, but ear infections and rapid weight loss (55 pounds since then) plays havoc with your balance and center of gravity. In July, I added a 'Fever of Unknown Origin' to the mix, leaving the doctors baffled. I keep dancing, but lately it's been every other week as I fight off another acute infection.
So I felt like crap yesterday with a nice fresh UTI and took my antibiotics and headed for the studio. And I danced. Really danced. And I'm in love all over again.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
*hugs*
Date: 2006-11-29 02:13 pm (UTC)And I truly hope you feel better very soon.
{{Hugs!}}
Re: *hugs*
Date: 2006-11-29 02:34 pm (UTC)Better is a relative term. I'll never be cured, but the days I can move around and get work done are bonus days and I appreciate every one. I try (don't always succeed) to avoid complaining because there are so many others in worse shape. After all, I can still dance and now I write fanfic! Life is good. :-D
no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 02:31 pm (UTC)Unfortunately I have no coordination to learn ballroom dancing (or someone to learn with me), so my only experience with it is watching Dancing With the Stars (which I love).
no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 02:46 pm (UTC)I've watched Dancing with the Stars and I'm happy that ballroom is having a resurgence as a result, even if the judges piss me off.
Thanks for listening (reading)!
no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 04:01 pm (UTC)I think the judges on DWTS are so funny. I don't always agree with how picky they get at times, but that seems typical of reality show judges. DWTS is the only reality show I watch because it's fun to see these celebrities actually learn to do something, some being very surprising with their success.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 04:19 pm (UTC)*HUG*
Thanks so much for sharing that!
no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 04:26 pm (UTC)How sweet, that you think I'm cool, let alone amazing. I was still so up this morning that it all spilled out into LJ. I'm not sure where I found the cojones to share that much, but darn it, it felt good.
*hugs back*