danceswithgary: (McShep - Not So Much)
[personal profile] danceswithgary
I know it's important, my 'I've fallen and I can't get up' lifeline, but I'm not sure I'm ever going to get used to someone calling me when I have my cell phone stuck in my cleavage. It's on a lanyard, but tucking it in my bra is much safer for the puppies when I bend over. I also ended up turning off the vibrate option as another safety precaution after I dropped threw a glass when Gary called.

I don't get many calls because people know my voice is unreliable. It's mostly my sisters, doctor offices to remind me about appointments, and Gary.

And the same little old idiot from Gary's bridge club that calls every damn month - at least three times because he obviously keeps losing his list that tells him who he's called to see if they'll be playing. I get the call because when I left work and turned in my cell phone, I acquired Gary's and he picked out a shiny new one. Everyone got Gary's new number and the bridge contact list was updated and handed out.

That was over two years ago.

Today's call came while I was washing dishes and already in a foul mood because the skin on my fingertips is splitting and my back hates bending over the sink. Thankfully, I wasn't rinsing a glass this time.

Me: "Hello?"

Idiot: "Hello, Gary?"


Now I know my voice is raspy, but.... Of course, I recognized his creaky old voice immediately and I'm immediately pissed because dammit here we go again.

Me: "No, this is his wife."

Idiot: "Oh. Is Gary around?"

Me: "No, he's teaching. (skiing)"


Yes, I was being obnoxious and not at all helpful.

Idiot: "Well, is he going to be around Sunday night?"

I'm thinking 'What the hell?'

Me: "This is about bridge, right?"

Idiot: "Yes, I need to know whether he's going to play next Thursday, so I'll call back Sunday night."


Not if I can help it. Now I know Gary's going to be playing, but I'm sick of this monthly go round where I field the calls and tell Gary to fix it and he says it is and I KEEP GETTING THE DAMN CALLS!

Me: No, you should call Gary on his phone and find out if he's going to play. This is my phone and your group has had Gary's phone number for years. Call him, not me.

Idiot: "Oh. Do you have his number?"

Rather than telling him to find the correct list and use it, I give in...just a smidge. I repeat the number three times very slowly then hang up with a clipped goodbye.

I tuck the phone back in my bra and go back to washing the dishes.

Gary's phone starts ringing in the living room where he left it plugged in for recharging.

Guess I won't be calling him if I fall and can't get up.

*rolls eyes at two idiots*

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