Writing - words are hard

[danceswithgary]

I'm supposed to be finishing an extremely short - overdue- story for Clexmas. It is my third attempt to flesh out a bunny. The other two stories stopped dead and I couldn't restart them. After about 200 words this morning, I had to stop because my brain was fuzzing out again. I clicked thru on a Netflix notice in my mail and somehow ended up watched "Unrest" which is about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or myalgic encephalomyelitis.

In other words, my life along with fibromyalgia, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis and on and on...

Thankfully, I'm not as severe as the people documented, but I went from a fulfilling career, dancing hours every week, riding a motorcycle, writing 1000 words a day, to a couch-bound existence where words constantly escape me. My dogs are the only thing that can get me moving, but even that is limited. A trip to the pet store yesterday (minus dogs) sent me to bed for 12 hours of sleep that didn't feel like enough. When it's nice enough to walk outside with them, a slow 1/2 kilometer is a huge accomplishment that wipes me out for the rest of the day. I am basically a hermit because people carry germs I cannot fight off due to a crippled immune system.

Enough whining for now. I need to finish and post this story today and to remind myself of this struggle the next time I contemplate signing up for exchanges or challenges.

ETA: Four hours later I managed to post the story. I shall now imitate broccoli the rest of the day.

Comments

[brumeier]

::hugs::

My mother's partner has Chronic Fatigue and it's something my grandparents just can't wrap their heads around. They constantly complain about how lazy she is. Needless to say they no longer spend any time together.

I'm sorry you have to struggle so much. ::more hugs::

[danceswithgary]

Thank you for the support and hugs. My best wishes to your mother's partner. *hugs back*

[shaddyr]

I have 2 dear friends who are both battling fibro and I know how hard it is for them. I'm so sorry you are going through this. ((( Hugs)))

[danceswithgary]

*hugs back*

[mific]

Hang in there!
I’m stuck on a deadline fic too. I keep writing outlines and realising they’re at least 5000 words and I don’t have the time or energy. I find art easier when I’m struggling with words though, so there’s that. Big hugs ((()))!

[danceswithgary]

Yes, having the art to work on does help. *hugs back*

[popkin16]

I am so sorry that your illness(es) have taken so much from you :( But it's good that you're still trying to push forward as best you can. I always like hearing from you, knowing you're still around, loving McShep :)

[danceswithgary]

*hug*

[freekydj]

Glad to hear you got to post the story. I know how huge those accomplishments feel when you're wiped out and dealing with a brain that doeasn't want to cooperate.

I've got FMS, also. My entire spine has severe disc degeneration, as well as stenosis, bone spurs, herniated discs and bulging discs, and arthritic changes. Literally all but I think 3 discs are affected. I have bipolar, which if fairly well controlled. But can make me feel awful. When on a downswing the fatigue and brain fog are just about impossible to fight. When on the upswing, I feel like I want to jitter out of my body. I don't want to sit around doing nothing, I want to be moving, yet the pain and fatigue won't let me. I try then to keep my mind distracted with audiobooks, or tv, or something. Or use the time to work on thinks that take more brainpower. I'll usually break down though and try to accomplish something, like cleaning or (recently) something like attaching my headboard to my bed. Then I literally can't lift my left leg to walk the next day or two. So Long story short, I totally understand what loosing abilities are like ...used to spend 8 hours working in my garden easily before whatever neuro shit is now going on started getting like it is.

[danceswithgary]

I'm sorry that you do understand - the hard way. Take care. *hug*